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Thursday, August 9, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Adda Green Joke ko ngem slight laeng...
Kwentong Lolo: A LOLO went to a bar...he was asked MANAGER: sir, ano po gusto niyo!? GRO o CG?! LOLO: alam ko yung GRO...pero anong CG?! yan ba yung Call Girl!? MANAGER: hindi sir........ Care Giver!
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Lupe : Lolo Tinong bakit po may hawak hawak kayong palda ng babae sa kamay niyo? Lolo Tinong : Ay lintek na yan, nakalimutan ko ang Lola mo sa bus!
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Isang estudyante ang nahuling may kodigo: prof: ano 'to!? estudyante: prayer ko po yan ma'am! prof:at bakit answers ang nakasulat?! estudyante: naku! sinagot na yung prayers ko! hahaha!
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PARI: sister, halika dito sa silid,
SIS: dios ko!
PARI: isara mo pinto, patayin mo ilaw!
SIS: tabi ka sakin
SIS: oh God!
PARI: tignan mo itong ROSARY ko GLOW IN THE DARK!
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Question: What a Woman Wants for a Man???
Answer: 1.) Pleasing PESOnality
2.) Good CARacteristics
3.) Good family BANKground
4.) Good MONEYrism
5.) Very CASHual
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1st day ng klase syempre ngpapakilala muna ang mga teacher. sinulat nya ang name nya sa blackboard. "miss pruke" kpag tinanong kau bukas kailangan alam nyo ang aking name alalahanin nyo with an r.. with an r.. with an rpaglabas ng student s klase inulit-ulit nila n with an r.. with an r.. with an r..kinabukasan tinanong sila ng teacher ngunit si Juan kundi mag day dream. npansin xa ng kanyang teacher. tinanong sya. sabi ni Juan "yes ma'am"sabi ng teacher "ano real name ko?"namamawis sa kaba si Juan binubulong ng mga classm8 nya wiyh an r.. with an r.. with an r.. naisip ni Juan ang name sinabi nya "miss prekprek"
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sa kwentuhan sa airport: sa america, 911 is very fast, 5mins after the crime, police are already there to assist. sa japan, mas mabilis, kasi sa mga bullet trains nila, kaya 3mins aftrer the crime nandun na kaagad mga crime scene investigator nila. SA PILIPINAS, panis sila, 10 minutes before the crime, nandun na mga pulis......
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TULUME: Doc, hina ng tenga ko. Di ko marinig kahit utot ko....DR.: Heto inumin mo ng isang linggo....TULUME: Lalakas na ang pandinig ko?... DR.: Hindi lalakas na ang utot mo
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Nagpa-blood test si Tulume. Kumuha ng sample ang nars. Pagkatapos, walang makitang bulak angnars sinipsip ng nars ang daliri ni Tulume. Naligayahan si Tulume kaya sinabihan niya ang nars, "Magpapa-urine test din ako!"
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A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy ask "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package." The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men." the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March
_____________________________________________
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir. "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay. "About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it? "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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may couple na bagong kasal, sabi nong tatay sa bahay na lang maghoneymoon para tipid at pumayag namn ang anak na lalake. mga alas 9 ng gabi ay umuga ang bahay na kahoy, eh di nagtanong ang tatay. tatay: anak, anak anong nangyayari dyan? anak: wag kang magalala tay itoy aming first flight. mga alas 11 ng gabi, umuga uli ung bahay. tatay: anak, anak anong nangyayari dyan? anak; wag ka magalala tay itoy aming second flight! mga alas 11 30 ng gabi, umuga ulet ung bahay prro nagtaka ung anak kasi di na nagtanong ang ama. Anak: tatay tatay anong nangyayari dyan? tatay: wag kang magalala anak ito ang aking solo flight! Hehehehehhehe
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INYA TI MAKUNA YU NGAY DIAY JOKE KO NGA ADDA BASIT PAGKA-GREEN NA NGAY? SAPAY KUMA TA AWAN TI AGUNGET KENYAK. SALAMAT!
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Lupe : Lolo Tinong bakit po may hawak hawak kayong palda ng babae sa kamay niyo? Lolo Tinong : Ay lintek na yan, nakalimutan ko ang Lola mo sa bus!
_____________________________________________
Isang estudyante ang nahuling may kodigo: prof: ano 'to!? estudyante: prayer ko po yan ma'am! prof:at bakit answers ang nakasulat?! estudyante: naku! sinagot na yung prayers ko! hahaha!
_____________________________________________
PARI: sister, halika dito sa silid,
SIS: dios ko!
PARI: isara mo pinto, patayin mo ilaw!
SIS: tabi ka sakin
SIS: oh God!
PARI: tignan mo itong ROSARY ko GLOW IN THE DARK!
_____________________________________________
Question: What a Woman Wants for a Man???
Answer: 1.) Pleasing PESOnality
2.) Good CARacteristics
3.) Good family BANKground
4.) Good MONEYrism
5.) Very CASHual
_____________________________________________
1st day ng klase syempre ngpapakilala muna ang mga teacher. sinulat nya ang name nya sa blackboard. "miss pruke" kpag tinanong kau bukas kailangan alam nyo ang aking name alalahanin nyo with an r.. with an r.. with an rpaglabas ng student s klase inulit-ulit nila n with an r.. with an r.. with an r..kinabukasan tinanong sila ng teacher ngunit si Juan kundi mag day dream. npansin xa ng kanyang teacher. tinanong sya. sabi ni Juan "yes ma'am"sabi ng teacher "ano real name ko?"namamawis sa kaba si Juan binubulong ng mga classm8 nya wiyh an r.. with an r.. with an r.. naisip ni Juan ang name sinabi nya "miss prekprek"
_____________________________________________
sa kwentuhan sa airport: sa america, 911 is very fast, 5mins after the crime, police are already there to assist. sa japan, mas mabilis, kasi sa mga bullet trains nila, kaya 3mins aftrer the crime nandun na kaagad mga crime scene investigator nila. SA PILIPINAS, panis sila, 10 minutes before the crime, nandun na mga pulis......
_____________________________________________
TULUME: Doc, hina ng tenga ko. Di ko marinig kahit utot ko....DR.: Heto inumin mo ng isang linggo....TULUME: Lalakas na ang pandinig ko?... DR.: Hindi lalakas na ang utot mo
_____________________________________________
Nagpa-blood test si Tulume. Kumuha ng sample ang nars. Pagkatapos, walang makitang bulak angnars sinipsip ng nars ang daliri ni Tulume. Naligayahan si Tulume kaya sinabihan niya ang nars, "Magpapa-urine test din ako!"
_____________________________________________
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy ask "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package." The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men." the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March
_____________________________________________
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel, sir. "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay. "About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it? "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
_____________________________________________
may couple na bagong kasal, sabi nong tatay sa bahay na lang maghoneymoon para tipid at pumayag namn ang anak na lalake. mga alas 9 ng gabi ay umuga ang bahay na kahoy, eh di nagtanong ang tatay. tatay: anak, anak anong nangyayari dyan? anak: wag kang magalala tay itoy aming first flight. mga alas 11 ng gabi, umuga uli ung bahay. tatay: anak, anak anong nangyayari dyan? anak; wag ka magalala tay itoy aming second flight! mga alas 11 30 ng gabi, umuga ulet ung bahay prro nagtaka ung anak kasi di na nagtanong ang ama. Anak: tatay tatay anong nangyayari dyan? tatay: wag kang magalala anak ito ang aking solo flight! Hehehehehhehe
_____________________________________________
INYA TI MAKUNA YU NGAY DIAY JOKE KO NGA ADDA BASIT PAGKA-GREEN NA NGAY? SAPAY KUMA TA AWAN TI AGUNGET KENYAK. SALAMAT!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
No Anonymous Identity please!!!
We have observed in the past that there are people who made comments on our jokes under anonymous identity.
While it's true that all the jokes published here have been said and heard many times and they find it to be corny, we believe that it's just but fair to clearly identify yourself and provide your email address so we can also respond to you. Take note that corny jokes are the most laughable jokes in town and they are the most remembered jokes, so sakay na lang kayo sa mga jokes namin. What matters most is, someone else contributed a joke with the sincere and honest intention of making someone laugh the best way he/she can.
Therefore, as moderator of this website, I seek your apology if your contribution or comments on our jokes are not published for using anonymous identity.
Thank you and...tuloy manen ti joke tayo garud!!!
Webmaster
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